Sunday, 2 December 2012

I've completed my degree.

I've never been great at finishing what I start. I try, I go in with the best intentions. But I get bored,  or scared, or it's just too hard.

Yesterday I got the results of my final exam. It's not exceptionally high, it's not exceptionally low, but it's finished.

I cried when I got the results. The subject I was completing was a core unit, one in which I had failed years before. I didn't want to let myself to believe I'd finished until it was there.

Well it's here, and I nailed it. No more excuses, just results.

It wasn't a sad cry, nor a particularly happy cry. Just a sense of relief, along with a sense of fear.

I now hold a Bachelor of Arts (Journalism) with a minor in Public Relations.

I also have a one year old son, a wonderful marriage, and a home 1000km away from where it all began.

I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

James and I worry about getting out of the navy, about finances, and how our lives will change.

Sometimes I think I should be a teacher, it would fit in perfectly with our life style. I think I'd be a good teacher, the kids love me in after school care.

I'm only 24. I don't know many 24 year olds that own a house, none that own in the areas we want to buy (inner Melbourne). But I'd like to buy a house in the next 10 years.

We can, we will.

Sometimes I think I should be a journalist, but the medium I love most is radio. My beautician told me I should get into TV whilst I'm young, before my (insert thick Eastern European accent) 'beauty fades'. That makes me sick. I'd love to report news, talk about arts- especially music. Not be admired for my appearance (which isn't exceptional anyway), but for my words.

These ideas make me want to not work in journalism. It's a pretty sexist industry, my wonderful Ethics teacher enlightened us to that. Not to scare us, but to make us aware; to insight change.

I don't know if I'd have it in me. I have a family to support, I need a pay cheque. Statements don't always come with pay cheques.

I think I'd be good at PR, I'd love to do PR for a not for profit organisation or a charity. But I'd hate to get caught up, I'd hate to be a 'spin doctor'. I'd just like to raise awareness.

I think I'd just like to tell the truth.

But it's a tough industry to do that. I'm not saying they lie, but falsification can occur when key facts are omitted. I know that's fluent in the Australian media. I wouldn't want to disappoint my readers, but I'll always need a pay cheque. My family will always come first.

I'm always looking forward. I'm always worried about the future; so much so I forget to enjoy the present and fail to admire my achievements of the past. I'm working on this.

If I can quote Mater, (Cars 2006), "I don't need to see where I'm going, I just need to know where I've been."

I know where I've been. I've been to uni, I've completed my degree and overcome many hurdles. I've been down the aisle, and married the man of my dreams. I've been to the hospital, and given birth to my wonderful Oliver.

I don't know where I'm going, but I know where I've been. It will influence my future, it will create my future.

I've never regretted decisions, I know the path chosen was the best decision for the situation at the time. It may not turn out the way you'd hoped, but regret will not change that. I know we will always make the best decisions for our family at the time, and I hope it turns out for the best. I also know sometimes it won't, but I know that if we do what is right, majority of the time it will.

University has taught me a lot. I've learnt a lot of academic lessons but I've also learnt much, much more.

I've learnt my ability, strengths and weaknesses. I've learnt about my passion, about what I want out of life and about who I am.

But mostly it's taught me to finish what I start. A lesson I hope to apply to the rest of my life.

Signing off
-Dr Mama J
(Not quite, but who knows?)

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