The wedding came and went. It was amazing. The honeymoon came and went far to quickly, and it was the happiest week of my life.
When we returned home we were greater by one of James' old high school friends who was staying in our apartment. For the first week of our married life in our home we had a friend on the couch. She wasn't much of an issue although she talked about doing the dishes much more than she ever did them.
Whilst she was here I just couldn't settle in. Everyday I aimed to cleaner and unpack properly but it never happened. I just wanted to sit naked- not necessarily do it but just to be able to do it- I wanted to relax.
Any way she left on a Monday and then on the Thursday my old high school friend from Germany arrived.
No naked sitting took place. I barely had time. James had work over night on the Tuesday. We did request a weekend to ourselves from the fore mentioned female guest, but she insisted that she wouldn't be an issue. She wasn't but we just couldn't relax.
My friend was here for two weeks. The first week was great and lots of fun. But then we got sick- flu sick. The kind of sick that transforms your house into a tissue box, your kitchen into a war zone and your bedroom into a haven. Being that Oliver was sharing our bedroom it wasn't much of a haven. I just wanted my space back.
I want to clarify that my friend was not an issue- he is so helpful and fun to be around. But no matter how fun and helpful someone is, sometimes you just want to be alone.
So now he is gone. James is working Monday - Friday with the odd Saturday or Sunday here and there. I am down to my final subject at uni. For the past forever I have been studying 2-4 subjects a semester plus at least I had a part time job.
Oliver is very independent. I play with him ad much as I can but he normally just walks off on me.
I cook, I clean, I study, I shop, I read and now I create. One creative project a week, every week for the next 52 weeks.
I am still finding my new identity. I don't feel like I've changed simply because my names has. I hut my mid 20's this month, maybe thats changed me as well. I just feel better. I feel like now anything is possible. I feel like I can follow my dreams. I feel like I don't have to fail at everything I do just because I have failed in my past. I feel like I am a good person, a good student, a good friend, a good wife and most importantly a good mother.
I feel like we are yet to settle back into our lives, we have only been on our own for half a week.
I don't know how people house share after they become a couple- especially those with a child. My hats off to you.
I am lucky to have my husband, I am lucky to have my life and I am especially I am lucky to have my little Oliver J.
I know that I will find my place- my calling. I am on a journey and I am enjoying the ride. I am enjoying being Mrs. Cassandra J.
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