Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Don't worry, be happy.

James has always told me that, "things just work out for [him]!" Erg, it used to make me so mad! Things never worked out for me, I was always destined to fail, I always knew I would fail. I would work so hard and be so close to my goal and then BAM it would all fall apart.

But then I let it go and things just kind of, you know, worked out.

And then one thing would fail and it would be like a black hole, sucking everything in. My whole demeanour would change, my whole attitude would change and then slowly everything would, yet again, fall apart.

It's happened in every aspect of my life; my weight; money; relationships; friendships; jobs. I'd work so hard, but those who believe they will fail are destined to fail. And fail I did*.

Over the weekend I saw my Auntie. She's a wonderful lady who has lived a very full life, full of joy and despair. We talked about a lot of things, when our future desire to be in Melbourne popped up. I told her that I was concerned about James' job prospects post navy and that being parents we just couldn't wing it.

Her response went along these lines, "don't think he can't get a job, know that he can. Put that energy out into the universe and it will serve you well."
Then our conversation moved to money, similar response, "let the universe know that you know you can have money, be confident that money is fleeting and it will come again- and then it will."

To be honest I felt it was a little bit inactive, I loved her ideals but I felt that she was imploring me to just sit back and trust the universe, something that this control freak was not overly comfortable with. I still mentioned to James that we needed to stop stressing on the whole money situation, we have been stressed out of our minds about finances. Three weddings in three weeks comes with a cost.

We agreed to put a little faith back in the universe and just hope, believe, that things would all fall into place.

Today we found a bank account that James thought he had closed five years ago. It didn't have thousands of dollars in it but it had enough, more than enough, to take a whole lot of weight off our shoulders.

And do you know what James said to me, "I told you things just work out for me!" Yes James, they sure do.

Mama J xx

*I'm not always negative and I don't always fail, but the two generally go hand in hand.

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