Saturday, 13 April 2013

Being happy.

Happiness is not a choice, you can't just wake up one day and decide to be happy. I know, I've tried. It's a place, a time, a feeling that is fleeting but should be enjoyed whilst it lasts.
Right night I am so friggin' happy.
I wake up in the morning and I don't have to drag myself out of bed. I've started a boot camp which means a 6am workout twice a week and a 7am one over the weekends. I practically fling out if bed.
Admittedly I've been going to bed pretty early, around the 9pm mark, but I think this abundance of sleep has been helping with my mental state.
I've been eating better. Those who follow me on Instagram would know that I've just started following a meal plan on a two week cycle which means I know what we're having dinner for the next two weeks and all the ingredients for said meals can be found in my kitchen. What a load off!
We also got ourselves a dishwasher and wow! I did not realise how much time that little beauty would save. We got lucky and found one for twenty bucks off gumtree. It took a few days to get it cleaned and working but since then I haven't looked back. Not only does it save me about an hour in cleaning every day, but it also stores all our dirty dishes so they're not starring me in the face every time I walk into the kitchen.
James has been so present since he stopped playing computer. He's always been a wonderful father and a husband, but now he's available all the time. Our relationship is the best it's been in years.
And Oliver, oh Oliver, what a perfect human he is becoming. Along with the little girl I've been looking after I just enjoys my days so much, we paint, play on the trampoline, read, play Lego, go to play centres, and just enjoy every second. He is a breath of fresh air who continues to remind me that what is one second, may not be the next. I no longer try to hang onto the past, but instead I thrive in the now.

I could thank Canberra and all the joy this town has brought us and I do but I also thank myself and the universe (along with my gorgeous friends and family obviously). I have not chosen to be happy, because as I said it's not that easy. But I have allowed myself to be. I have laid a solid foundation for a happy lifestyle, I'm marching to the beat of my own drum again and realising who I am, as a wife, a mother, and as a 24 year old women. I'm letting myself fault without the negative downfall that often follows. I've still got high expectations for myself, but not unrealistic ones. After all I'm only human and all I want in the end is happiness.
The best bit is it's just the beginning and I've already found it, lets hope it's here to stay. If not, oh well, I'll certainly enjoy every second whilst it lasts.

-Mama J

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